Behold, One Of The World’s Most Expensive Home Gyms
Aside from buying yourself a pair of jeans that you know are two sizes too small, is there any more desperately hopeful purchase than buying a home gym?
On the one hand, it makes a lot of sense. You’ve probably noticed how easy it is not to go to the gym, even if it’s in the building where you live, for example. Getting up and walking out the door can be so exhausting, particularly if there’s an invisible force like the desire to avoid strenuous exercise keeping you on the couch.
In theory, having a gym in your house really cuts down on the excuses you can make to yourself. And no doubt this works well, for a while, for some people.
The problems, of course, are twofold. On the one hand, unless you have the room to install a solid tonne of workout equipment, you’re going to be very restricted in what you can do, and while doing bench press alone is a very effective exercise, it will end up making you look like a GI Joe doll rather than a human.
And the other perhaps more pressing issue is that gym equipment is about as pleasant to look at as having the contents of a scrapyard poured into your spare room.
Or at least it always has been, until now. The biggest benefit of the Technogym – which sounds like some very shouty form of exercise invented by a DJ, but fortunately isn’t – is that it genuinely looks very cool.
Indeed, most people entering your house for the first time will ask you what the hell it is, because it really doesn’t look much like exercise equipment at all, with its mysterious cables, folding arms and a smooth, metallic central dial highlighted by a cool LED light that looks like HAL from the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey.
You can choose to personalise your Technogym Kinesis Personal Machine, to give it its full name, as well, depending on whether you like the Nordic timber look, the plain black, the leather, or the look-at-me-workin’-it mirrored option. Apparently buyers in the Middle East are fond of covering their Technogyms in diamonds.
If that gives you a hint that these stylish machines – designed in conjunction with world-renowned furniture designer and architect Antonio Citterio – are high-end and expensive, you are correct. Prices start around $25,000 and can quickly run north of $45K.
For that kind of dough, you’d really want to end up looking as good as your workout machine does, and the good news is that the Technogym really is surprisingly enjoyable, and interesting, to use. And those are not two words you often hear associated with exercise.
Technogym Master Trainer Todd Brodie put us through our paces, explaining the mysteries of how the cables and their six handles allow you to do just about every exercise imaginable, by providing constant tension and a full range of motion. So you can practice and strengthen your golf swing, or work on your guns, or even do pilates.
By using that central dial you can change the amount of resistance on the cables, quickly taking it to the point where you find yourself sweating and calling Todd unpleasant things.
So, the Technogym answers nearly all of the problems of home gymnasiums. What it cannot do, however, is entirely fix your motivation. On the plus side, if you do stop using it after a year, or a week, at least it will look good sitting there idle. Just like you.
(All images: Technogym / supplied)
Published 17 October, 2019